Planet Fitness Near Me: The Real Reason I Finally Stopped Hating the Gym

Why I Typed “Planet Fitness near me” in the First Place

I was tired of:

•Paying $90+ for gyms where everyone looks like they’re auditioning for a protein commercial

•Feeling judged the second I stepped on the treadmill in anything that wasn’t color-coordinated Lululemon

•Driving 25 minutes each way and then talking myself out of going

So one random Tuesday I Googled “Planet Fitness near me” and found one 1.8 miles away. I signed up that same day for $10 a month. No, that’s not a typo.

What Actually Happens When You Walk In

You’re greeted by someone who genuinely doesn’t care what you look like. There’s free pizza the first Monday of every month (yes, really). There’s a “Lunk Alarm” that goes off if someone grunts too loud or drops weights — it’s hilarious and keeps the meatheads away.

The vibe is: “We’re all just trying to not die early, chill.”

The Real Perks (Not the Marketing BS)

•$10/month basic or $24.99 Black Card (I upgraded because I’m weak for massage chairs)

•Every machine has its own TV. I’ve watched entire seasons of The Office while on the elliptical.

•HydroMassage beds and massage chairs that make you feel like you’re cheating at recovery

•Clean bathrooms. Like, weirdly clean. Someone is always wiping something down.

•You can use any Planet Fitness in the country with Black Card — I’ve worked out in six different states and it’s the exact same purple-and-yellow comfort zone.

My Actual Routine (Because I’m Lazy)

Monday: 30 minutes on the stair climber while hate-watching reality TV

Tuesday: Rest (aka I sit in the massage chair for 20 minutes and call it “active recovery”)

Wednesday: The 30-minute express circuit (it tells you when to move, perfect for people with the attention span of a goldfish)

Thursday: Off

Friday: Leg day on machines only because free weights scare me

Weekend: Whatever location I’m near — sometimes I just go for the tanning bed and massage chair and don’t even pretend to work out

The Weird Things I Love That Nobody Talks About

•Tootsie Rolls at the front desk. I don’t know why this makes me happy, but it does.

•No one cares if you wear a hoodie and sneakers from 2017.

•The staff remembers your name after like three visits.

•They do “pizza Monday” and “bagel Tuesday” and somehow it doesn’t ruin the healthy vibe — it just makes everyone human.

The Downsides (Because I’m Not a Paid Sponsor)

•It gets crowded between 5–7 p.m. — I just go at 8 p.m. or 10 a.m. and it’s empty

•If you’re a serious powerlifter, this is not your place (and that’s okay — you know who you are)

•Some locations are better than others — read the recent Google reviews before you commit

How to Find the Best One Near You (Pro Tips From Someone Who’s Been to 20+)

1. Search “Planet Fitness near me” + look at the Google rating (4.5+ is solid)

2. Check the photos — if it looks clean and the machines aren’t ancient, you’re good

3. Read the most recent reviews for words like “clean,” “friendly,” and “never crowded”

4. Drive by at the time you’d actually go — if the parking lot is chaos at 6 p.m., plan around it

5. Try the $10 plan first — you can always upgrade later

My Honest Two-Year Update

I’ve lost 38 pounds, I can walk up stairs without dying, and I actually look forward to going to the gym now. Not because I love burpees (I don’t), but because Planet Fitness feels like the McDonald’s of gyms — familiar, cheap, and never pretends to be something it’s not.

If you’re sitting there thinking “I really need to start working out but I’m scared/poor/lazy,” just Google “Planet Fitness near me” right now. The closest one is probably closer than your grocery store, and they’ll let you try it for free.

Worst case: you waste an hour and get a free workout. Best case: you become one of those weirdos who actually enjoys going to the gym.

I’m still waiting for my six-pack, but at least I’m not paying $89 a month to avoid one.